‘No stop, please! You can’t do this!’ she screamed, struggling futilely against the chains that held her fast, ‘Please!’
I leant closer to her, to that face once a thing of beauty now repulsed, to the body once cherished now hated, to her, my only, my beloved now polluted, never to be. My tears scorching fell on her, my laboured breath shifting her dark strands of hair caressing her cheeks.
‘I can and I will,’ I pushed through clenched teeth, ‘and for the rest of your life you will remember, you will feel my pain, my suffering, my heartbreak. Forever you will know how you destroyed me.’
‘Please, oh god forgive me, I’m sorry, I’ve told you I’m sorry, it was nothing to me, I was weak, it was just once and he …’
‘And that is enough!’ I screamed, pulling away from the arms seeking to hold me, back, back and away. Eyes burning, vision blurred, with my heart pounding to escape my chest I flung my head back and howled in primal rage to the darkened sky above. ‘Everything I gave you, all of me, solely, totally, you were my dream, my fulfilment, my all and you throw it away on him?!?!’
I lifted my arm from inside my coat pocket, the menacing form of the syringe glinting in the first wan touch of moonlight. I stepped closer again, bearing the syringe above my head on outstretched arm as a banner, a totem of hate and pain.
‘And this, this is my response. All that is evil, all that is deformed, vile, repulsive and hated lives within to twist and burn the human form to the degenerate! All that is needed is the moon and the flesh!’ I leered viscously at her, shaking, still shaking with rage.
‘Don’t do this, I don’t deserve this, I still love you, I do, I still do! We can still be together, forgive me, please. It’s not right to do this to me, to make me …’
‘Shut up!’ I screamed, ‘You?! Oh no, oh no, not so easy, not so simple.’ with which I sent the syringe lancing down into my neck, thrusting burning pain as I hammered it home, the seminal genetic bearer coursing through my veins. ‘This, this is for me, and for you to know and see and feel and suffer as I will, through me. Love me? Love me!?! Then love what you have made!’ with which I threw the key to her chains at her feet even as I felt the first shattering impact run through me.
She lay crumpled against the tree, held up by only one chained arm, crushed. ‘What have you done? What have you done to yourself, to us?’
I tried to laugh but the pain arcing through my arms changed it to a whine, a piteous animal whimper. My arms tore out of my shirt and coat not through muscle but in a distended, twisted, wizened tangle curling back on each other, knuckles huge and torpid with pain, fingers clenched inwards as arthritic claws drawing blood as yellowed nails sunk deep into palms.
‘Each full moon, each time I will be transformed to this, to a thing that shows the ugliness, the pain you bought me, a remin …’ I screamed anew, falling in a crumpled heap to the ground. My face slid down to lie loosely hanging on the frame of my skull, a green folded flaccid sack of putrefied flesh punctured only by huge cracked teeth piercing lips, ‘… always, always.’
She had her chains off and was now beside me, holding me as I lay there. ‘No, no, no you can change it, fix it, tell me you can fix it’ shaking me, crying, ‘tell me you can fix it, tell me!’
‘Never, no, it cannot be undone.’ I managed to mumble, waves of nausea making their way through me. My spine twisted and compressed with a crack that seemed to reach the mocking moon above, shattering the night. My legs bowed, buckled, the left shortening even as the right twisted through ninety degrees, its curve matched only by the bowing of my back. A final crack, a final nightmare blaze of pain and my neck shrunk, dropping my head to my shoulders, my skin changing to a bloody mess of open scabs and coarse hairs. It was done. I pulled myself painfully to all fours, unable now to stand let alone walk, vomiting as my stench reached my nostrils. I turned to see her face, whitened, uncomprehending, revolted beside me.
‘To remind you’ I spat out slowly from crippled lungs and deformed larynx in croaking, rasping speech, ‘of my pain, the pain you bought me, how cheaply you threw it away. Once the moon has left I will change back, but each full moon this’ with which I tried to laugh, ‘will return.’
She looked at me, broken, silent. My pain was now hers, and would always be. And that pain doubled as I returned from creature to human, human to creature, always with the pain, the torment, for the rest of my life. I still loved her, I knew I always would. ‘I love you’ I whispered gently, crawling towards the edge of the woods, ‘that is my real pain.’
She sat staring after me. ‘And Kathy I will always love you.’
Thanks for reading my story. I’m really keen to get your feedback and to know if you liked what you read. Please leave a quick comment if you could.